Am I being the bigger/better person if I try to push all of my hurt and anger aside because there is a child involved now?
Mr. Big contacted me not long after his son was born and asked if we could essentially start over, wipe the slate clean and take the time to now figure all of this out.
And I realized that last fall, he didn't have much of a choice. Abbi got pregnant on purpose so he wouldn't leave, and Mr. Big, trying to change and be a good guy stayed, because he had no other choice. Obviously he wants to be a dad to his son, but she gave him no choice.
In order to do what he thought was right, he pushed me aside. Well, he stayed, but pushed me away at the same time. And that's when things went from bad to rock bottom for us.
Does he deserve me in his life?
Do I deserve the chance to really sit down and figure out all of this with Mr. Big?
Even if she got pregnant "on purpose" (which she couldn't have done alone), he's still giving you the classic line about 'being a good guy', etc.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right; he pushed you aside. that should be a clue about the answer to your question.
My biggest fear is what kind of person I am being if I stay. I'm trying to put myself in Abbi's shoes...if the roles were reversed would I want to know? And the answer is yes. But I also ask myself whether or not I really want to be involved.
ReplyDeleteCan I stay, figure this out with Mr. Big and not be disgusted with myself?
And yes, it does take two. Regardless of his state of mind, he made his choices.