Sunday, April 10, 2011

Life Changes

For the first year and a half to two years, things were great between Mr. Big and I.  We were just living.  He was smitten, I was smitten and I knew I met the man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

And then the drugs started.  His attitude and his mood started to change.  Gradually at first, and then blink...another couple years in and BAM, I was in the middle of something that I simply couldn't dig myself out of.

I constantly thought and still think about that man I fell in love with.  How he use to make me feel.  How happy he use to make me.  How amazing he is.

And I always asked, where did he go and why isn't he a part of my life anymore?

I care about this person so much and I know what a tremendous person he is and I couldn't walk away.  The entire time this was going on, I KNEW, something was wrong and I KNEW he was doing something, but I couldn't put my finger on it.  I couldn't figure it out.

And as miserable as he made/makes me, I knew he needed/needs someone strong and good in his life. 

I couldn't walk away from someone who I loved this much. 

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