Our arguments over the past few days have been about time. I think that if we push forward and start spending time together, things will naturally fall into place. The trust, the forgiveness, the playfullness that we once had. My opinion is that life will take over and whatever is meant to happen, will happen.
He thinks there needs to be a process. He keeps asking me for some space. Space, that frankly, I'm terrified to give. Since the drug abuse began, I have been terrified that I will wake up one day and he won't be there. When he gets angry, he use to threaten that he will walk away and never return. For years, I have been living in fear that he will disappear from my life, no explanation, no good bye.
During our arguments, he constantly brings up the fact that if he didn't care and if he didn't want me in his life and if he were going to leave, why is he spending all of his energy arguing with me about these things...and while I see his point, letting go and trusting that he does truly care is the hardest thing to do.
After all, if he truly cares about me, why is he doing this to me and why did he do this to me?
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