Waiting

At this point right now, I waiver, every single day. 

One day I want to destroy him, call Abbi on the phone and tell her the truth, one day I want to wrap him in my arms and promise him that everything will get better and the next day I want to lay in bed and cry because of the hurt and pain that I am still feeling.

I KNOW that things can get better, but I'm frustrated because I don't have the patience to sit around any longer.  I am not getting any younger and I want someone in my life who genuninely cares about me and loves me and is happy and excited that I am a part of his life.

And I'm afraid that if I stay, I will continue to waste year after year after year of my life waiting for Mr. Big to get to that point.